The Bartender
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around they offered a standing $1000 bet: The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time (professional wrestlers, longshoremen, etc.), but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.”
After the laughter had died down, the bartender agreed, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He handed the dried, wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
The crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and SIX drops fell into the glass.
The crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and he asked the little man, “What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?”
The man replied, “I work for the IRS.” (Remember, your taxes are due today!)
April 18th, 2011 at 11:59 pm
Was this before he got the blood from the Turnip?
April 22nd, 2011 at 11:29 pm
That’s the Little Old Lady that works in the lunch room at the IRS. She used to be an enforcer but the IRS got tired of all the blood stains. Just don’t try the blood pudding or the fresh “Beat” salad when you get audited.